Tuesday, September 20, 2011

summary: allergory and the cave

allergory and the cave is about how people where being in trapped behind walls in caves for most of their life. they only things they would see behind the walls was shadows of objects but never the real object. once a man was released from the cave he saw reality for what it really was and didnt agree with it because he was to used to only seeings shadows and when he saw the real things he didnt want to believe it. he then went back to tell everyone that the world wasnt what they thought it was going to be.

5 comments:

  1. Hi Tylin , I am Carmencita from English 101 I was assigned to critize your essay Allegory of The Cave and here is my thoughts :
    1. Is the main idea (thesis) of the passage clearly and correctly stated?In this essay does not include main idea.
    2. Are the important supporting ideas stated correctly and fully?Tylin, you have the concept of the passage but you need to add more support.
    3. Are all (or nearly all) unimportant ideas excluded? Yes, they were not important ideas that it wasn't necessary to include.
    4. Is the summary in the writer’s own words?Yes, this writing is writing in own words.
    5. Is the summary written with few grammar/spelling/style errors? Yes, Tylin you have to work on not making long sentences because then it will be called fragment. Oh there also some sentences missing verbs. Remember Tylin professor always want a sentence that includes subject and verb.
    6. Does the summary retain the sense and organization of the original passage? Your essay makes sense but it is not correctly organized.
    7. Is personal opinion included in the summary?There is no personal opinion.

    Tylin , I am apologize I have to be hard on you but it is for your own good and don't worry you will be fine just work more harder on grammar avoid making long sentence and write more. Tylin dont worry everyone goes through the same issues of writing. bye Tylin I know you will be allright.

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  2. hi carmencita, this is tylin. I just wanted to say that the advice and criticism that you gave me for "Allegory of the Cave" were good and explained well. I will be sure to use this advice in future essays and writings. Thank you Carmencita

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